February 28, 2025
Fully Human Monthly Newsletter
Presvytera Melanie’s Monthly Message
February 28, 2025
I sat at my home office computer one morning, attending to emails. Within earshot, just a few hallway steps and a pivot away in our living room, my son’s in-home therapy provider was initiating a familiar opening conversation with him using his AAC APP on his iPad.
“Hi, Michael! How do you feel today?” Asked Miss Katie.
My son’s AAC output voice responded, “Yes.”
Again, Miss Katie prompted sweetly, “Tell me how you feel Mikey…”
“Yes,” Michael answered, and I imagined his upper body moving swiftly up and down to emphasize his answer. Michael nods yes with his entire torso and head without bending his neck, having never been able to mimic the typical nod we Americans use to signify “yes.”
Sweet Miss Katie went on to try to pull more adjectives out of Michael saying in a sing-songy voice, “You can’t feel “yes,” Silly, how do you feel – happy, sad, tired…?”
I smiled and answered mentally, “Ah but Miss Katie, you can feel “Yes.”
If I could translate for him, which I often do, “yes” in this context meant, “I feel happy.” I gathered this meaning not only through the selection of this word on his AAC, but because he woke up in a pleasant mood and a few minutes earlier had smiled when his teacher walked into the room.
Since Michael’s early childhood, our family has tried a variety of approaches and tools to improve communication. My very patient father was determined to teach Michael how to nod “yes” and shake his head “no” in order to give him more power in self-expression and to help us become better detectives into his internal thoughts. Michael’s different neurology affects his ability to copy or mimic physical actions or patterns.
So, every day when Michael came home from school my father would spend as much time as Michael cared to engage in, playing a game of “yes” and “no.” He would hold up a preferred toy and ask, “Do you want this toy?” And then physically help Michael move his head up and down to express “yes.” He would hold up a non-preferred item such as an apple and ask the same question, then gently guide his head from side to side to express “no.” The process took years to reap results. As it stands, Michael can express “yes” easier than “no” and often uses upper torso “yes” to mean “hello,” “good bye,” “I love you,” and just plain old “yes.”
When he shakes his head/torso “yes” and his most innocent eyes meet mine brimming with warmth after I tell him, “I love you, Michael,” this mama’s heart has no doubt as to what he means.
And that is why I know that someone can feel “Yes.”
For all the promises of God in (Jesus Christ) are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us. (2 Cor 1:20)
May we all feel the “Yes” of Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen.
February Fully Human Resource Recap
Graphic Description: On the left appears a photo of people in a church receiving Holy Communion. A child and parent are receiving blessed bread.
The text says: on behalf of all pilot parishes.
1. St Stefanos Petersburg, Fl GOA Atlanta Metropolis
2. St. John the Baptist, Des Plaines, Illinois GOA Chicago metropolis
3. Saint Anna‘s Salt Lake City, Utah, GOA Denver Metropolis.
4. Saint Nicholas Grand Junction, Colorado GOA Denver Metropolis.
5. Saint Demetrius Saginaw, Michigan GOA Detroit Metropolis
6. Assumption of the Theotokos Danbury, Connecticut GOA Direct Archdiocese District.
7. St John The Baptist Bluepoint, New York GOA Direct Archdiocese District.
8. Annunciation Cathedral, Columbus, Ohio GOA Pittsburgh Metropolis
9. Saint Basil San Juan Capistrano, California GOA San Francisco Metropolis
10. Saints Constantine and Helen Cardiff by the Sea, California GOA San Francisco Metropolis
11. Saint Mary’s Brooklyn, New York Antiochian Orthodox Metropolis of North America.
12. Protection of the Holy Mother of God, Saint Mary, Falls Church, Virginia, OCA Romanian Episcopate.
On Behalf of All Grant Update: After careful and prayerful consideration of all applicants, we are excited to announce the twelve Orthodox parishes selected to be Pilot Parishes through the On Behalf of All Initiative Toward an Accessible Divine Liturgy for Children with Disabilities!
Selections were made based on several important factors, including but not limited to: excitement/willingness of parish leadership, number of children potentially impacted in a community, geographical location, identified liaisons, and demonstration of an understanding of and commitment to the time and effort needed to engage in the program.
Through the grant resources, Pilot Parishes will be first to receive assessment tools, training, virtual and in-person coaching, parish-wide retreats, and support in problem-solving, as they seek to make their worship and community life accessible to all children with a variety of needs and disabilities. They also have committed to being assessed by a third-party researcher who will create formal and objective assessments for deeper understanding of why barriers exist toward full participation of families with disabilities.
After 4 years of dedicated support, Pilot Parishes will adopt sister Orthodox parishes in their locale, in order to serve as mentors, share lessons learned and best practice ministry models for optimal inclusion of children with special needs.
All OBOA resources will be shared widely for parish use across American Orthodox jurisdictions and beyond, through social media, webinars, digital tools, and more.
Join us in praying for these twelve ground-breaking communities as they begin the holy work of removing visible and invisible barriers so as to incorporate every member of the Body of Christ.
Congratulations to all!
Graphic above reads: “If at some time you show mercy to someone, mercy will be shown to you. If you show compassion to one who is suffering (and of course, this is not a great deed) you will be numbered among the martyrs.” – St. Moses of Optina
Reflection: At the onset of the Great Entrance in Divine Liturgy the church prescribes us to sing these words together, “Let us lay aside all earthly cares so that we may receive the King of all.” Families who have a unique share of earthly cares because of disabilities often bear the weight of others’ earthly cares in that they must not only lay aside their own anxieties or misunderstandings, but also those of their co-worshippers. This happens in the pressures felt from scolding looks, sighs, or reprimands.
Brothers and sisters in Christ, if we attend to our own hearts more carefully, we will have less concern for the behaviors of others whose bodily sensations we often do not share, and so fail to understand.
Graphic Quote: “One should make use of food daily to the extent that the body, fortified, may be the friend and assistant of the soul in the practice of virtue. Otherwise, the soul may weaken because it is exhausted.” – St Seraphim of Sarov
Reflection: Fasting is a tried and tested tool offered to us by Christ, the Church, and Her Saints through the ages. The collective witness of the Church lifts it up as a spiritual medicine that can help purify passionate bodily inclinations and increase a person’s capacity for the grace and love of God. But, as is the case with using any medicine, root causes and subsequent dosing should be established.
Though the Church offers guidelines for our seasonal Fasts, the assumption for such guidelines is that the starting point is one of health, maturity, and free-will. Pregnant and nursing mothers as well as infants and young children, for example, are normally guided to refrain from fasting during Lent. The same is true for those with serious illnesses who must take morning medicines with food so that their bodies are not adversely affected. Such are still encouraged to receive Holy Communion on Sunday mornings.
There will be exceptions to such examples, of course. Some Saints were said to refuse their mother’s milk on Fridays as infants; others who are advanced in fasting practices, with a spiritual guide’s blessing, may keep a stricter fast than what the church prescribes.
Exceptions apply across the spectrum of human experience. And the exceptions pertinent to life with disabilities or special needs is something that bears careful consideration and accommodation by both priests and caregivers.
Another way to understand fasting is as a type of exercise routine. Ascetical exercises are best taken on gradually. For example, one person may just be starting an exercise routine of walking and may struggle to walk a half-mile, while another who has a different bodily constitution and who has been exercising for years might have the stamina to run a half-marathon. There are a myriad of practices within that spectrum, each person trying to employ healthy routines to support their well-being.
If we indeed remember to think upon fasting as one medicine for the soul which provides a means to the ends of acquiring virtues – particularly the virtue of humility – then we can use sound logic to apply the medicine as needed. When the body is already humbled through illness or injury or otherwise, then the medicine of fasting may not be effective, but rather weaken the exhausted soul.
A person’s approximate emotional/developmental age should be considered rather than their chronological age when trying to teach or employ fasting practices. Parents can model what they wish for their children to learn in practice, but it is important to be gracious if they have not the strength or maturity to fast according to general expectations. It is of utmost importance for adults to model a humble love of God, and a show of respect in our interactions both within and outside our family circle – to fast from devouring our brothers and sisters – as St John Chrysostom directs us.
A family unit attempting to keep a food fast has many people – each in their unique mental, emotional, and physical stages of development – to consider when planning meals. Caregivers should not feel guilty for allowing themselves the grace of a less strict fast in order to make the family function harmoniously and provide a simple, healthy meal that will be accepted by all. Fasting practices were meant to make things simpler for the faithful so that they could have more time to attend to personal and corporate prayer.
During fast periods and for the unique needs of every person, may we let food serve its intended purpose – to provide strength for our bodies so that they become the friends and assistants of our souls in the practice of virtues.
Graphic above reads: Fully Human Podcast: Channeling Grief into Giving for the Special Needs Community: The Foundations of Project Sam and Like a Daisy
Podcast Description: In our latest episode, Pres Melanie speaks with Marissa Eliades, the cofounder of the Like a Daisy Foundation, in memory of her sister Samantha Eliades, who had Prader-Willi Syndrome (PWS). Samantha passed away, unexpectedly, on September 28, 2023.
Marissa shares the origins of her family’s journey with special needs in the church, beginning with participation in the Challenge Liturgies for families with disabilities established at Archangel Michael Greek Orthodox Church of Port Washington Roslyn Heights, NY; the development of Project SAM, a ministry which seeks to reconnect people who are isolated with special needs and their families with their Faith Tradition; and most recently, her family’s establishment of the Like a Daisy Foundation which offers support and life-changing experiences to the special needs community.
Listen to the podcast here: Channeling Grief into Giving
Like a Daisy Foundation website: Like a Daisy
Learn more about Challenge Liturgies here: Challenge Liturgies